BYFIL — Before You Fall In Love BYFIL — Before You Fall In Love

No Haste. Don't Pace. Love Fades. Do you know?

Before you fall in love, you only need to answer one question…

Do I actually know what I'm falling into, or am I just falling freely?

If you don't stop to ask. You may end up surprised and eventually become a stranger in your own relationship.

This book was written for that exact moment. Before it happens to you.

Read by 1,100+

Across

6 countries

4 continents

Pause before the leap. Build on clarity, not just chemistry.

Explore the core frameworks and tools built around Before You Fall In Love.

The R.A.D.A.R Checkpoint System

At the centre of the book is a collection of five non-negotiable checkpoints most singles skip entirely simply because emotion moves faster than reflection. Check spiritual depth, medical/genotype reality, and purpose before attachment forms.

Explore the Book

The R.E.A.L & B.O.D.Y Sequences

Everyone who skips the sequence ends up with something that looks like love on the outside but collapses under pressure. Learn the exact order love is meant to follow—distinguishing A.C.H.E tendencies from genuine commitment.

Read the Free Chapter

15-Minute Marriage Readiness Assessment

You wouldn't dive into water without checking the depth. Evaluate your Financial, Spiritual/Values, Psychological, and Relational readiness with a personalized report and a 30-day growth challenge.

Take the Assessment

1-on-1 Coaching, Keynotes & Campus Partnerships

The book answers the general question; coaching answers yours. Book a private 45-minute clarity session, invite ‘Biola Abass to speak at your organization, or sponsor bulk copies for youth communities.

Book a Session

Read across 6 countries & 4 continents.

From university campuses and mosque youth wings in Nigeria to readers across the UK, North America, and the Middle East.

Nigeria Hub UK & Europe North America Middle East Asia-Pacific

A love story doesn't start when two people meet. It starts long before, and this book is about everything that happens before.

At its centre is a framework I call RADAR. It is a collection of five checkpoints most of us skip entirely, simply because emotion moves faster than reflection.

Later in the book, there's a second one I termed REAL love, which is the actual sequence (R.E.A.L), in order, that I believe love is supposed to follow.

Everyone who has skipped the sequence has ended up with something that looks like love but doesn't hold at all. Because they fell in the wrong way. They judged with feelings…

No Haste. Don't Pace. Love Fades.

Read the free chapter Get the full book

Before You Fall In Love — Desk Edition Before You Fall In Love — Cover

Abass Abiola Abdul-Azeez

Abass Abiola Abdul-Azeez

Abass is a learning and development expert who believes that “when people know better, they perform better.”

Over the past seven years, he has designed and delivered transformative learning experiences for audiences ranging from students to C-Suite executives. He is the Lead Facilitator and a Co-Founder at The School for Ignored Skills Ltd/Gte (TheSIS). A learning and development organisation that equips people with human skills and competencies that help them regain their agency, boost their effectiveness, and rule their world.

Abass is an award-winning writer, public speaker, and published author. He has contributed to communications and knowledge-sharing initiatives for global organisations including Space Generation Advisory Council and several TEDx platforms at home and abroad.

His work is grounded in neuroscience-backed teaching methods, particularly Brain Compatible Learning (BCL). Beyond facilitation, he enjoys digital illustration, storytelling, movies on business and career growth, and long walks with nature.

Selected Pictures from the Book's Launch Learn Event

BYFIL Launch Learn Event 1 BYFIL Launch Learn Event 2 BYFIL Launch Learn Event 3 BYFIL Launch Learn Event 4 BYFIL Launch Learn Event 5
Thoughts

Some thoughts are too small for a chapter and too loud to ignore. This is where they live. Start wherever a title stops your scroll.

The book answers the general question. Coaching answers yours.

Before You Fall In Love was written to answer one question for everyone: what should any of us check before we fall? Coaching exists because your situation isn't "everyone's." It's specific. The person you're unsure about, the pattern that keeps repeating no matter who changes, the family conversation you don't know how to start, the readiness gaps you can see in yourself and don't know how to close.

This is one-on-one. You bring the real thing you're actually dealing with, and we work through it together, using the same frameworks the book is built on (R.A.D.A.R, R.E.A.L, and B.O.D.Y). Applied to your life, this time around, not hypothetically.

$30 / 45-minute session

What we typically work through:

  • A specific decision: Pursue, pause, or walk away

  • A pattern you keep noticing across relationships, but can't name alone

  • Getting practically and spiritually ready before marriage, not just emotionally

  • Family or cultural pressure that's drowning out your own judgment

  • Your Marriage Readiness Index results, unpacked properly, one-on-one

Book a Mentoring Session

Complete your details below to schedule your 45-minute session ($30) with ‘Biola Abass.

Read the chapter I think changes how you see your own story. It's free.

No haste. Don't pace. Love fades…read it before you fall, not after.

Read the Free Chapter

Start with the Prologue, Table of Contents, Reviewer Endorsements, and Chapter 2 (Some Painted Scenarios) delivered immediately as a PDF.

Get the Full Book

$5 / Instant PDF

Everything the free chapter opens, the rest of the book answers.

Six more chapters leading to the practical close on what to actually do, once you've decided someone is worth pursuing the right way—including the 21-point Spiritual Depth Checklist, R.A.D.A.R, and R.E.A.L frameworks.

You wouldn't dive into water without checking the depth. Why would you dive into marriage without checking its implications from your personal reality?

Here's a question most people never sit down and actually answer: am I ready, or do I just want to be?

Wanting it is easy. Everyone wants it; the home, the partner, the version of life where someone is finally in your corner.

Readiness is different. It is quieter, and it doesn't care how badly you want something.

In fifteen minutes of honest reflection, you’ll answer questions that assess four areas of your life: your finances, your values, your emotional reality, and your personal spiritual depth. And at the end, a report built entirely from your own answers. Not a guess. Just you, clearly x-rayed to yourself.

No haste. Don't pace.

Love fades…but readiness, checked properly, doesn't.

Take the Marriage Readiness Assessment

Bring this conversation to the room you care about.

Every room has people carrying the question this book was written to answer. A mosque youth wing, or a corporate training session. It is to create enough room for people to actually sit and think, not just nod along.

Formats:

  • Keynotes for conferences and large gatherings

  • Interactive workshops for youth groups, schools, and organizations

  • Single seminars, built around readiness, compatibility, and decision-making

  • Panels and fireside conversations on love, marriage, and the decisions that shape a life

Book a speaking engagement — tell me about your event, your expected audience, and your dates. You'll hear back within 5 business days.

This book wasn't written to sit quietly on a shelf. It was written to reach the people still carrying the question I once carried alone. Reaching them at scale takes partners who believe in the worth of this work.

I wrote Before You Fall In Love for millions of young people, not for a few thousand readers. Getting there means finding organizations and brands who want their name next to a conversation that actually matters to the people they serve.

Bulk orders. Putting this book into the hands of an entire school, mosque, youth organization, or corporate wellness program, at real volume…because a book in every hand ignites a real community of practice than a book on one shelf.

Brand partnerships. Standing next to a message that genuinely resonates with young, values-driven people, through co-branded content, sponsored events, or something built together rather than bought and placed.

Sponsorships. Backing something people will see and actually engage with. We are planning series of nationwide essay competition on love and readiness, campus tours, a media series built around the questions this book keeps asking. This is the kind of sponsorship that earns goodwill instead of just buying impressions.

Every partnership starts as a conversation, not a pitch deck. Tell the team what resonates with you, and we'll shape something that genuinely fits.

Start a partnership conversation

Don't take it from the team. Take it from the people who actually read the book.

“This book by brother Abass Abiola Abdul-Azeez is a must read for every young Muslim who looks forward to having a peaceful, prosperous, and happy marital life. The simplicity of language deployed by the author and the depth of his knowledge of the subject matter make it easily comprehensible for all categories of readers. The author deserves a thumb up.”

— Dr. Sanusi Lafiagi

“Going through the book, I highly recommend it to bachelors and spinsters. The married men who want to embark on polygyny need the book as well. The MOST INTERESTING aspect of the book to me is a segment on pages 22 to 26 with the heading: 'THE SPIRITUAL DEPTH CHECKLIST'. Under this heading, the author brilliantly enumerated twenty-one (21) points you need to check 'spiritually' before you fall in love. The book is a big catch.”

— Dr. Rasheed A. Haashim

“Falling in love is emotional and can be transitional but remaining in love is intentional. It requires so much. 'Before you fall in love' is a book that guides the mind, body and soul to look before leaping.”

— Ustadha Zulfah Adesoye, Marital Counselor

“BYFIL is a book that every Muslim youth needs to read, to guide them on their journey of finding love, falling in love, and having a stable home.”

— Eyinade Sulaimon Abiola

“A very big Jazakumullahu khayr to the writer. May Allah continue to preserve him upon khayr. We singles needn’t snooze on this. Na’hm what I really love about this book is the step the writer took to explain things without being too detailed. The use of acronyms for the main points. He tried as much as possible to keep his readers glued to the book. Allahumo barik once again”

— Ariyibi Eniola

“I had a beautiful read. I loved every of the page flip. Short yet well detailed. The chronology! The choice of words! I like the fact that the author was constantly interacting with the reader. And yes, the last chapter was the highlight for me. BaarakaLlahu feekum”

— Zainab Abdul-Afeez

“A book for every Muslim youth intending to embark on a lifelong journey (Marriage). There’s a lot more to learn and gain from this book. The Author truly deserve a thumb up as said by Dr, Sanusi Lafiagi. The book can also be useful for those who have already fallen in love”

— Rokibat Lawal

A question, an opportunity, or just something on your mind…

Whether it's about the book, a speaking engagement, a partnership, or something that doesn't fit neatly into any box on this site, this is the direct line to me. Someone on my team will respond within 48 hours.

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Typical response time: 2 business days.

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No Haste. Don't Pace. Love Fades. Do you know?

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